Why your holiday really matters to God

18. August 2010 08:11

Charlie on why we should take holidays seriously.

I used to find holidays pointless. I know that makes me odd. When I was a teenager in particular I had thought through my Christian faith and reached the obvious conclusion that if I was going to go for this, I really needed to go for it.

So holidays meant missions, initiatives, conferences and anything else that ‘felt‘ like progress to build God’s kingdom.  I had a great time but never really rested much. I do the same thing today but the Christian activities have been replaced by an internal diologue when I am supposed to be resting. I spend rest time thinking. 'Why am I not achieving more', 'why can't I do better, 'what should I be doing differently'. All valid questions.

Yet I know enough to realize that is not how I should be spending my holidays. Perhaps its getting older or perhaps its carrying greater responsibilities in my life but I have now discovered that resting is actually one of the most important spiritual disciplines that any believer can practice.

Why is this? For one very simple reason. It shows you who we are and who God is.

When you are working you are trying to accomplish things. If all you ever do is try to accomplish things, and perhaps you start to succeed, then you start to believe you are the centre of the universe. You believe that the world is only changed through your endeavors.

I find my life now to be too often a constant race to achieve things. There is always more I can do at work, always more to be done to please the boss, always issues at church that I should be doing more on, always people I have neglected, always some failure to dwell on. But the more I try to do things, the more I believe that everything good in my life is a result of what I do and can figure out the more I lose perspective on who I am.

Why do holidays matter? For the same reason that ‘sabbath’ matters. It is the time when we force ourselves to stop. This sometimes means we achieve less, maybe it even means we displease people who want things from us. Yet when we stop doing anything we are presented with the reality that we are not the sum total of our achievements. We gain perspective.

Of course this is the same of Christians and non Christians alike. But Christians are called to do something with the perspective that rest gives us. We are called to acknowledge the centrality of God in our lives.

I love quoting that Louie Giglio line: ‘I am not, but I know I AM’. That is what holidays are about for believers. Not studying ourselves, not trying to achieve things but acknowledging that God is the achiever, not us.

That is why from the foundation of the world God instituted Sabbath. It was’t because he is religious and doctrinal. It was simply that he knew life is demanding and naturally pushes us to focus on ourselves. He knew that spiritual maturity is not about self-analysis or self-achievement. It is about looking at Jesus and acknowledging our place in his world, our activity in his great plan.

The Bible puts it simply in Psalm 46: ‘Be still, and know that I am God’.

This Summer holiday why not take that to heart and remember that sometimes the most constructive thing you can do is nothing at all.

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14/08/2010 - Julian And Miranda's Wedding

17. August 2010 01:34

On 14/08/2010 two Bear members, Julian and Miranda, got married. It was a lovely day shared by their family, friends and many members of The Bear. We wish them all the best. Here are some photos of the happy couple.

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Bear Blog

Bear Youth are on a mission for survival

12. August 2010 06:19

Survival for the Soul

 This Monday Ada, Becky, Dylon, Eliza, Holly, Jessie, Joe, Jonathan and Noah are heading to Soul Survivor for a week of   

  • - Fun
  • - Reinforcing and deepening relationships with each other and God
  • - Experiencing the holy spirit so that we
  • - have a greater understanding of God and His word
  • - can get excited about our faith
  • - have guidance in our lives
  • - and our questions answered

 This is the vision statement the youth crafted (their own words) for their trip.  Please do pray that this vision becomes reality for each of them.  Also for Janice, Fran and Bex who are joining them for the ride. 

If you are at the Bear on Sun 22nd for the 10.30am service the youth will be sharing on soul stuff!

P.S. Ellis, Josiah, Richard and Roxanne we’ll miss you.

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Bear Blog

Evening Service Art Night

9. August 2010 05:25

We like to mix things up so every once in a while we organise an art night at the evening service. Last night's project was all about typography and worship; together we made our very own illuminated manuscript. 

For inspiration we had a quick look at some examples of decorative letterforms used in worship; from medieval illuminated manuscripts to the screenprints of Sister Corita in the '60s, and more recently Tracy Emin's neon text made for Liverpool cathedral. 

 After our swift intro everybody got stuck in, making letters from card and paper to form the words 'Living waters within'. We had great fun and I think the results were beautiful, surprising and so individual. A great celebration of the scripture that we had chosen to illuminate.

 Here are some photos:

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Bear Blog

Why I am still a Christian or the hound of heaven is coming

2. August 2010 01:55

An MP once impotently asked Tony Blair during Prime Minister’s Questions whether he could please outline his core values and beliefs.

Blair stood up, stuttered, and began talking about some initiative or other he was pushing at that moment. The House erupted with laughter. He was they knew a politician of convenience and pragmatism who resolved ideological challenges as he went along. He did not ‘do’ core values, or at least not in the way that MP wanted him too.

I worry sometimes that we are like that as Christians. We can debate points of theology, argue about the best way to organise our church, criticise each other and debate our futures.

Yet somehow people can walk up to us and ask the simplest question: ‘Why are you a Christian’ and it can stop us in our tracks.

This has happened to be several times. Once while on a mission in Manchester years ago when another Christian posed as a member of the public and walked up and asked me point blank. I was speechless. She laughed, I did not.

Another time was just the other week when an old friend of mine who I had grown up with posed the question in a slightly different way. He asked: ‘Why are you still a Christian.’ The implication was that he could understand how the 15 year-old Charlie got caught in this God stuff but not the Charlie of today. Now, he thought, I had seen enough of the world and enjoyed enough intellectual freedom and experience to be able to put to bed the mythology I adopted in my childhood.

I realised one thing. I need to have a killer answer to that question. To be honest it is still in the offing. But here is my first stab.

Let me begin by pointing out why I am not a Christian. I am not a Christian because my parents were. I learned a great deal from both of them, who have now passed away, but their faith was as complex as mine. There was a lot to learn but also lots which confused me. As I was growing up they seemed far too moderate for the brand of high-conviction, high-volume Christianity I was adopting. It was only years later that I fully understand the work Jesus had done in their lives. By that stage I was already a convinced believer in my own right. So while I thank God for what he did for them, they are not the reason I am a Christian.

Neither am I a Christian because it has consistently been the easiest option. Over the past ten years I have formed new groups of friends, started new jobs and gained public profile for new things. I could have quietly drifted away from church if I wanted to and. In many situations this would have been easier than holding the line against a tide of disbelief.

 Over the years when I have faced bereavement and life’s other problems I have often considered rejecting God. But I have not. In a sense then the answer to the question ‘Why am I still a Christian’ begins with me asserting why I have remained a Christian at the key moments in my life where many others have chosen to reject God – the times of most profound personal hardship.

In truth it has not been because I have been well-prepared to walk with God in these times. Often I have found myself resorting to very human defence mechanisms rather than leaning on God. Rather it is because of something else. The primary reason I am still a Christian.

That is what Francis Thompson called the  ‘ great hound of heaven’. Thompson, a 19th century English poet wrote this:

‘I fled Him down the nights and down the days
I fled Him down the arches of the years
I fled Him down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind, and in the midst of tears
I hid from him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped and shot precipitated
Adown titanic glooms of chasme d hears
From those strong feet that followed, followed after
But with unhurrying chase and unperturbe d pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat, and a Voice beat,
More instant than the feet:
All things betray thee who betrayest me.’

Read the full poem.

Thompson is speaking of course of the pursuit of God; the process which we discover is working in our lives which proves that God has a hold on us. We discover that, rather than God hiding in some distant place, he is in fact persistently pursuing us, nagging at our heart, our conscious and our mind even as we reason and act against him.

The poem had a big impact on J.R.R Tolkien the author of the Lord of the Rings who wrote: The name is strange. It startles one at first. It is so bold, so new, so fearless. It does not attract, rather the reverse. But when one reads the poem this strangeness disappears. The meaning is understood. As the hound follows the hare, never ceasing in its running, ever drawing nearer in the chase, with unhurrying and imperturbed pace, so does God follow the fleeing soul by His Divine grace. And though in sin or in human love, away from God it seeks to hide itself, Divine grace follows after, unwearyingly follows ever after, till the soul feels its pressure forcing it to turn to Him alone in that never ending pursuit.’

Tolkien had sensed the same thing as Thompson. John Stott, the author of The Cross of Christ and probably the greatest living evangelical scholar also begins his own seminal book ‘Why I am a Christian’ with an acknowledgement of the pursuit of the hound. He demonstrates how the testimony of the greatest heroes of the faith include a description of how God plodded behind them, how they always heard his steps until finally he had them. Even  Saul of Tarsus’ road to Damascus conversion was preceded by a series of events where God planted seeds in his head, nagged at his conscience and played on his reasoning.

Indeed Scott’s exposition of the hound of heaven’s work in ancient figures like Augustine of Hippo  through to modern people is unmatched and well worth a read.

Jesus’ shows this aspect of his work in his description of himself as the shepherd hunting for just one lost sheep.

Why am I still a Christian? Because God has never stopped coming after me.  Even when I am caught in a mindset which is proud and distant from God he still opens a little window to show me something of God. Whether it is through somebody working for him and connecting with the truth of the gospel, or some intellectual understanding planted in my head of how the Bibl  provides an answer for a question that I face. It is sometimes through a physical sense of the closeness of God, or a sense of relief and peace that floods over me when I realize that there is a way to experience something truly and purely hopeful in life.

God has never stopped coming after me, he has never moved on to a better prospect. That is why I am still a Christian.

Of course what I have not written about here are my own responsibilities to persevere in my faith and how God uses my actions to help this process. How he – to put a long name on it – uses me to work out my sanctification. This is not because I do not believe this is crucial.

It’s just that I can’t escape the conclusion when I look back at my life that I am still a Christian not because of me but despite me. Of course that was always going to be the case because after all the journey of God is not one where we find God but one where he reveals himself to us. It could hardly be any other way.

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Bear Blog

Francesca Parker: Going back to our first love

30. July 2010 02:12

‘I love our house group’; this seems to have become our tagline (if ever a house group could have one). It’s often the comment that one of us will make once our evening together comes to a close.

Personally I get so much out of our time together and I really do love our house group. I’m always encouraged by how much we all put into it; practically, intellectually and spiritually. While some house-groups focus on hospitality and fellowship and others on worships and prayer our focus is God’s word.  We’ve worked through, chapter by chapter, a good number of books in the Bible since the house-group began approximately 3 years ago. We each take it in turns to lead a week, and it’s always great to see how much the person leading has put into preparing their session.  

A few weeks ago though we broke with tradition and, thanks to a wonderful suggestion by one lovely Tom Wynne-Morgan, we decided to share our testimonies of how we became Christians.

It was interesting to realise that although we’ve gotten to know one another really well over the past few years we’ve never actually taken the time to hear about how we each came to be ‘in love with God’.

 Hearing the uniqueness of each story, and how God met each of us in our different places, was very encouraging.  There are some similarities amongst our experiences; inspirational parents, time spent at Christian camps, the compelling actions of another Christian and, even amongst two people, a similar moment of realisation and commitment to God whilst starring out of a window.

I would certainly recommend other house-groups taking the time to do the same. It felt very intimate and we definitely shared a very special evening. It was, as Dale said on Sunday, great to ‘go back to our first love’.

We all enjoyed the evening so much that last week we decided to move onto ‘phase two’ and entitled this second session ‘why I’m still a Christian!’

This was once again a lovely time but many a question arose and a few tears shared! It was encouraging to hear of the specific times when God has realigned our lives and reminded us of our hope in Him but we also touched on some more challenging issues.

Just a few to consider; we’re called to be ‘childlike’ in our faith but what does it mean to be a ‘mature’ Christian. Does God call us to be black and white in our understanding of Him or is ok to have grey patches? Does being ‘busy’ for God really bring us any closer to Him? Any thoughts anyone?

Inevitably we didn’t manage to reach any firm conclusions about these issues and perhaps that’s the point.  As the church was reminded in Revelations (ch2:v4-5) we should simply go back to our first love. Ultimately it is God’s word, once again, that provides the answer.

We have planned a third session entitled ‘what would we like our faith to be like?’ (or maybe if we take God’s word as our focus it should be called ‘What should our faith be like’). I’ll let you know how it goes!

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My first evening service for years blew me away

27. July 2010 00:41

I was reminded that brokenness is magic stuff, says Charlie Parker.

It has been years since I went along to one of the Bear's evening services but Bridgette kindly invited me to speak last Sunday so along I went.

It blew me away. Firstly, let's take a moment to recognise the extraordinary work the evening service team is doing. The cooks did an amazing job at preparing food for dozens of people who all flooded through the door bang on time. Bex Keer seemed to be the appointed head chef but she had lots of helpers. (Richard Bell spent most of his time carefully cutting the tops of a big bowl of radishes even though nobody has eaten a bowl of radishes since the Great War.)

Declan and the other leaders did an amazing job connecting with the people who came. It is overwhelming to see how freely they are sharing their lives with people down on their luck. During the actual service Layton led beautifully, making time for everyone and controlling the chaos really well.

The people who came to eat and join in the service were universally nice to me. This despite the fact that I arrived like a visitor from a different planet in the back of a blacked-out Merc wearing a suit after spending the afternoon doing a series of interviews. (Luckily Fran had thought to give me a bag with some jeans and a T-shirt in.)

The first thought that I turned over in my mind when I arrived was a reflection on how little separated me from the people who walked in off the streets to take part in the service. I know the things they have to overcome in their lives are often greater than mine. They have to contend with drug addiction, violence, mental health problems and a range of other issues. Yet, there are things I need to overcome in my life too (being critical, eating too much, worrying too much...I could go on) and I can't help but wonder whether I have really made any more progress than them at facing up to my weaknesses and overcoming them.

This is not to denigrate the work of the Holy Spirit in my life in recent years. I dread to think what I would be like without him. But it is to recognise that we are all in this together, equally sinful and equally in need of God's help in our lives.

The thing on my mind by the time I left though was this: Brokenness is where stuff happens. I work so hard in my life to see off risks and paper over my own problems. Yet what you learn when you look at a group of people - many of whom have hit rock bottom - is that it is brokenness where the good stuff with God really takes place. We have to let ourselves be broken. We have to accept criticism and hardship knowing that it is the magic bullet, the golden nugget that can lead us closer to God.

If brokenness were a commodity then it would be mined like platinum and traded for a fortune. It is magic stuff. Why else would Jesus work so hard to stress the importance of brokenness in the Sermon on the Mount. He said: 'Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted'. He was not telling us to dance around happy when we are grieving or saying that he wanted to romanticise suffering. Not at all. He was simply saying that something happens when we get to the point of despair. Something magic.

The people who are touched by this magical intervention of God in their lives are very often not the most accomplished, not the most talented, or the most intelligent. They are often not even those whose personalities seem to lend themselves to 'niceness'. They are just the people who happened to be in that place of brokenness, looking up and crying out for God's help. That is all God needs to remember us.

Evening service team: keep it up! You are teaching us all.

BearYoof+2Uganda2011

8. July 2010 11:08

What?

 Youth focused team to work at Cherish village with local children, plus visits to Watoto orphanages and other projects (where Fin now works). 3 day safari near Gulu, after visiting Watoto’s work there.

Opportunity to learn, serve and share love of God through both words and actions.

Who?

In order of priority…

14+ youth

11+ youth accompanied by a parent

Everyone else from the Bear who would like to be part of this challenge. Maximum size approx. 30.

When?

Last 2 weeks of August 2011, exact dates tbc.

How much?

Between £1,300-500 per person irrespective of age, though children under 11 may be less.

How much?????

Joint fundraising led by Bear Global team will happen over the year for all youth places (11+) with aim to fundraise £750 per youth. The remaining funds and places can be fundraised for outside the Bear family, or simply paid for.

When do I need to commit?

September 12th 2010 when there will be a special meeting after church for everybody interested. You will need to pay a deposit of £100 per person by October 1st (returnable if a place is not available).

Who can I talk to about this if I have questions?

Bex Keer, Iain Jones or Darryl Veldtman.

How do I learn more about Cherish and Watoto?

www.cherishuganda.org

www.watoto.com

The Global Team

July 2010

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Bear Blog

'I Have it' Declan

8. July 2010 02:00

Ozymandias

by Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

 

 

Scripture

Colossians 1: 15 – 27

 

I feel that the letter to the Colossians is the most important book in the bible. In it, St Paul condenses and consolidates all his teaching about Christ into one short message, and there is a wonderful symmetry about the whole story in that Colosse is the least important city Paul ever wrote a letter to. Colosse was a small city in Phrygia, in what is now Turkey. There were three cities beside one another: Laodicea – we are familiar with it from Revelation, a very rich centre of commerce, Hierapolis, a spa – the Leamington of the ancient world, and Colosse. Colosse was very much the poor relation of the three cities. It wasn’t far from Ephesus where St Paul spent a lot of time, but he didn’t start the church in Colosse, although he would have been a very influential figure in it. It was a gentile church, but there were lots of Jews in the city and that would have been a very important factor in why he had to write the letter.

The church in Colosse was beginning to lose its way. It was falling into heresy. One of the big mysteries of the New Testament - and by mystery I mean human mystery, rather than divine mystery – is what was the Colossian Heresy? Nobody knows for certain but the educated guess is that it had to do with Gnosticism.

Gnosticism is a belief that spirit alone is good, and because all matter is evil, there is no way that God could have created the earth. It also meant that Jesus could not be the son of God and be flesh and blood, so how could he sacrifice his body on the cross for us?

It also gave rise to two opposite but equally wrong ideas that if the body is evil, it should be starved, beaten and denied, or oppositely, it should be indulged and its urges satisfied because it wasn’t going to make any difference in the long run.

So what came out of this was a very intellectual approach to life. Because man -as matter - was so far away from God - as spirit - he must fight his way up a long ladder to get to God. There were all kinds of secrets, rituals, hidden passwords, and you really needed to know the rules if you wanted salvation. So the people who would get to God were a select few –the leadership and the intelligentsia. Salvation would come from intellectual knowledge. This sat comfortably with the rigid laws of the Jews, so there was a strange alliance between Jew and Gnostic as they tried to turn belief in Christ into a philosophy. It is also a philosophy which is gaining a foothold in today’s culture.

In this letter, Paul sets out to refute these ideas, because they were hugely threatening to the church. We must remember that Christianity was a new religion, not well established, and if these ideas had taken hold, who knows? Well God knows…

So Paul starts the counter-attack. Firstly he states explicitly that Jesus is the image of the invisible God. The ordinary, unlearned people would hear in this the echo of the creation story, when God made man in his image. In Genesis 1:27 it says “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” So Paul is reminding us that man is made to be nothing less than the image of God. Paul uses the Greek word “eikon” for image. This can have two interpretations: a representation, or a manifestation. So it’s a really strong declaration by Paul that flesh is not evil in itself, but rather that man did not achieve his destiny because of sin. So when Paul says that by looking at Jesus we can see a representation of God that we can understand, he is also saying that by looking at Jesus we can see what man was meant to be, before the fall – the separation of man from God through sin.

He describes Jesus as supreme over all creation and that “In him all things hold together”. I feel we need to take this to heart in the twenty first century, where our lives are increasingly challenged – usually for the better - by technology. The laws of the universe – gravity, thermodynamics, genetics, - chemical, physical and biological originate in the divine.

I am now skipping forward to verse 27. “To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”  Paul uses great language – “glorious, riches, mystery”. He conveys the sense of God providing an inexhaustible supply of goodness and grace, and that every time he goes there, he finds something new and unexpected. In the New Testament, the word mystery is used to describe something that would be beyond our ability to discover without divine revelation. So it is a gift from God. “The hope of glory” - hope as joyous expectation and glory as eternal salvation. What I believe he is saying is that if Christ lives in you, then that is the reason to be certain of complete salvation.

I have a friend – a wonderful man who works with drug addicts and alcoholics. He was a successful hotelier in South Africa.  He is a Christian, and was very involved with his local church in Cape Town. They even let him speak - during the summer! But he is also an alcoholic and he slowly became alcohol dependent. And a little bit like a Greek tragedy, his life began to unravel. Like all alcoholics, it wasn’t a sudden fall from grace but rather a slow descent into Hell. He had to kick away all the props that supported him in his sin and addiction – his church tolerated his behaviour for a while, his colleagues at work covered for him, his wife and children suffered in silence and thought he would turn the corner and see the hurt he was causing. But in the end he managed to alienate all the people that loved him and many more besides, and he became homeless on the streets of Cape Town. He ended up sleeping, wrapped in a blanket, in a garden shed. He lay there one night shaking with delirium tremens – severe withdrawal from alcohol, sweating, shaking, hallucinating, - with nothing but a bible. He knew his bible and he was looking for some solace, something to hang on to, when his eyes fell on that verse: “To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

He had what he describes as a Eureka moment and he jumped up and ran down the street shouting “I have it! I have it!” He has never drank since and when I asked him what was different, he said it was when he realised that if the greatest power in the universe lived in him, how could he choose to live in the gutter. He also felt released from the need to judge and be judged. He realised he was equal: equal to the task of giving up the drink, equal to the task of living. He didn’t understand it in his head, but in his heart it made such simple sense. He knew nothing about heresies or where Colosse was, but he knew that Jesus lived in him and that he was a special beloved creation of God. I see this as proof that scripture is real and affects lives. Here is a promise from God, delivered when needed, to a gentile, and we see yet another life transformed by grace.

In the poem we read at the start, I used to imagine that Ozymandias died in agony, without friends or family, probably betrayed, like Julius Caesar. But now I have a different phantasy. I like to think that he may have had a Christian slave. He may have asked why this man is so patient and kind and full of grace. I imagine somebody telling him – with great trepidation - about God’s wonderful love for the human race. So perhaps there is a happy reason why the statue stood destroyed in the desert. Maybe Ozymandias asked God to give him the same gifts and he ended up leading his people to greener pastures to build a new life full of love for one another and love for Jesus.

Gravity didn’t make any sense to Isaac Newton until he saw the apple falling from the tree. Electricity doesn’t make any real sense until you turn on the light. The first phone didn’t make any sense until it rang the second phone. Likewise, Christ in you, the hope of glory, doesn’t make any sense until you see it. I see it here in the Bear all the time. I see it working with Brigitte every day. I see it in Paul and Iain and their passion for this church. I see it in Fiona and Emily’s passion for Bearcubs, Daniel’s worship, Tessa, Julie, Katherine, Silvia, Alice, Vickie, Layton, the people who cook every Sunday evening ….. I could go round this room…... I would love to name everybody here who has been that shining light for me at one time or another.

So my prayer is that all of you here continue to search out and be consumed by the spirit of God, that you wake up every morning secure in the fact that Christ – God, the creator – lives in you, and I pray that you will continue to shine – for me and for each other, and especially and for those of us who have not yet sought the revelation, those who have not yet taken it into their hearts, this knowledge of the indwelling of our saviour Jesus Christ and the hope of a glorious future for us all to choose to believe in.

 

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Bear Blog

What God is saying to the Bear today, Charlie

1. July 2010 14:46

Do you believe that God has a particular message for you at a particular time?

Or do you simply think that while God does speak its all in the book so whatever he says to you today is simply whatever you randomly choose to read?

I believe in a way that both these things are true. You can pick up the bible anywhere and if you are willing and ready God will speak to you. But I also think that there are particular messages he wants to convey at specific times. Every picture of God's intervention in the world shows that he has exactly the right word for the right moment.

Quite a lot of the time I have no idea what God is saying to me. I am lost behind a wall of doubt, fear, distraction and indifference (sorry about that). But the good news is that God can break through all of this incredibly easily if only I give a little bit of thanks and exercise a mustard seed of faith.

Today I do think I have an idea about what God is saying. Here's how I've picked up what I think it is. I was at a wedding the other week for my friend Chris - who by the way once worked very hard with me all through a summer digging a foundation at the old Bear building when we knocked the wall down to make the hall bigger. He was there when I dropped a bible verse chiseled onto a block of wood into the foundations as they set. He was also there when I realized that I had put in the wrong bible verse - one that prophesied doom. But we are not superstitious so move on...

Chris' pastor from Manchester preached at the wedding and said that the biggest tip he would give a newly-married couple was to remember what there love felt like at first. Whenever things get stale, he said, try to re-visit those feelings and experiences.

He gave this Bible verse from Revelations: 'Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.'

This is part of a message God is giving to the church in Ephesus, a church that has started to grow up. Oddly rather than telling them to get better at growing up, to move on, to stop behaving like children, he tells them to return and do the things they did when they first came to know Jesus.

We are at a time now in the life of the Bear where many people will have felt not a little regret when they think back over the early life of our church. We have just lost the building in which we invested so much time, love and hope. Some of us will remember prayer walking around it, listening to prophesies about it, growing up in it. meeting our lovely spouses in it. We thought it would be the place from which we built our church for the long-term. As I began to think about things I did in the Bear nearly ten years ago when I was getting a youth work going and helping out as Jamie Reynolds set up a café and Julia first set up the gallery I think 'I was so young! We go so much so wrong and what has become of it now?'

The reality though is that I remember that what I had the courage to do all those years ago was exercise some faith, free from the fear of failure. I thought then that next year would be different for Deptford. God wants us to have new faith in that again. He wants us to be full of the hope and the faith we were full of the first time we walked into a church or walked to the front of a meeting to choose Jesus as our personal Saviour.

How is that possible you ask? So much has changed, we have been through so much. It is a reasonable point. Since those days I look back on a decade of triumphs and disasters, of expectations crushed and hope diminished and not a little personal tragedy. And yet, and yet, I feel something nagging in my gut telling me that I am not today the sum total of disappointment and failure, nor am I the sum of my success (because after all our church has grown since those days considerably).

There is something inside me that is offering me hope and it is is not my experiences. That thing of course is the Holy Spirit. Something extraordinary happens when the kingdom of God comes into our lives. We start to have hope where there should not empirically be hope. We start to believe in things almost as if we were children, taking emotional risks to believe in people that our world-wearied-selves would never take.

In short we start to believe that it is possible to see change even though we haven't yet seen evidence of that change. This is faith breaking through into our hearts. As we learn in Hebrews 11: ''By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going.'

Well I don't really know where we are going either but I do know that the way we will get therw is by returning to do the things we did at the beginning. There is never never any shame for Christians in starting again at the beginning - its what you get to do when you are a new creation.

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