Forest Gump Goes to Heaven
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump died and went to Heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest timidly approached the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We've heard such a lot about you, but I must tell you though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can finally get into Heaven."
Forrest responded, "It's really good to be here, St. Peter, sir, but nobody ever told me about an entrance exam. I do hope the test is not too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions"
First: "What two days of the week begin with the letter T?"
Second: "How many seconds are there in a year?"
Third: "What is God's first name?"
Forrest left to think the questions over. When he returned the next day he saw St. Peter, who waved him on up, and said, "Now that you've had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week
begins with the letter ‘T', that one's easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?"
"How many seconds in a year? Now that one was harder," replied Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve!! Twelve?? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with just twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest replied, "It's obvious, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."
"Hold it," interrupted St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind...but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"
"Sure can!" Forrest replied, "Its Andy."
"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two
questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Gosh, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song,
ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'