I was reminded that brokenness is magic stuff, says Charlie Parker.
It has been years since I went along to one of the Bear's evening services but Bridgette kindly invited me to speak last Sunday so along I went.
It blew me away. Firstly, let's take a moment to recognise the extraordinary work the evening service team is doing. The cooks did an amazing job at preparing food for dozens of people who all flooded through the door bang on time. Bex Keer seemed to be the appointed head chef but she had lots of helpers. (Richard Bell spent most of his time carefully cutting the tops of a big bowl of radishes even though nobody has eaten a bowl of radishes since the Great War.)
Declan and the other leaders did an amazing job connecting with the people who came. It is overwhelming to see how freely they are sharing their lives with people down on their luck. During the actual service Layton led beautifully, making time for everyone and controlling the chaos really well.
The people who came to eat and join in the service were universally nice to me. This despite the fact that I arrived like a visitor from a different planet in the back of a blacked-out Merc wearing a suit after spending the afternoon doing a series of interviews. (Luckily Fran had thought to give me a bag with some jeans and a T-shirt in.)
The first thought that I turned over in my mind when I arrived was a reflection on how little separated me from the people who walked in off the streets to take part in the service. I know the things they have to overcome in their lives are often greater than mine. They have to contend with drug addiction, violence, mental health problems and a range of other issues. Yet, there are things I need to overcome in my life too (being critical, eating too much, worrying too much...I could go on) and I can't help but wonder whether I have really made any more progress than them at facing up to my weaknesses and overcoming them.
This is not to denigrate the work of the Holy Spirit in my life in recent years. I dread to think what I would be like without him. But it is to recognise that we are all in this together, equally sinful and equally in need of God's help in our lives.
The thing on my mind by the time I left though was this: Brokenness is where stuff happens. I work so hard in my life to see off risks and paper over my own problems. Yet what you learn when you look at a group of people - many of whom have hit rock bottom - is that it is brokenness where the good stuff with God really takes place. We have to let ourselves be broken. We have to accept criticism and hardship knowing that it is the magic bullet, the golden nugget that can lead us closer to God.
If brokenness were a commodity then it would be mined like platinum and traded for a fortune. It is magic stuff. Why else would Jesus work so hard to stress the importance of brokenness in the Sermon on the Mount. He said: 'Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted'. He was not telling us to dance around happy when we are grieving or saying that he wanted to romanticise suffering. Not at all. He was simply saying that something happens when we get to the point of despair. Something magic.
The people who are touched by this magical intervention of God in their lives are very often not the most accomplished, not the most talented, or the most intelligent. They are often not even those whose personalities seem to lend themselves to 'niceness'. They are just the people who happened to be in that place of brokenness, looking up and crying out for God's help. That is all God needs to remember us.
Evening service team: keep it up! You are teaching us all.